It's really hard paring a list down to just five entries, as there are so many movies deserving of ridicule. As a result, I felt it necessary to develop an Honorable Mention List. Any of these movies could occupy the fifth or sixth spot in the listing.

Superman IV: Quest for Peace
The movie that made us stop caring about Superman and made us look forward to Batman. This film is a good example of why actors shouldn't write.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
After wrapping up the whole killing Spock, finding Spock and going home trilogy, someone decided it was time to do some heavy drinking in front of the typewriter. The end result is this pile of drivel. With Star Trek movies, you don't go in with expectations set very high. No matter how low you set the bar, you'll still limbo under it quite easily. In these movies, you want to see some cool special effects and maybe some alien lesbian action. What we got was a poorly written snoozefest that was so bad that Bill Shatner has been banned from being behind a camera ever again!

Stuart Saves His Family
Horrible. Simply horrible. Another SNL skit gone horribly wrong.

Random Hearts
Between this film and Six Days Seven Nights it's shocking that Harrison Ford's phone isn't ringing off the hook for more him to star in more chick flicks. Here's a clue pal, you can't act, so stick to blowing things up and saving the world from terrorists. When I first saw this movie (paying $8 no less!), it soared to about the number three spot on the list. Cooler heads prevailed and I think you'll agree that the movies ahead of it are more deserving of my permanent disdain.

28 Days
Sandra Bullock has the rare distinction of joining Charles S. Dutton in appearing in two movies that I consider to be the among the worst things committed to video. She gets the crown though because she's the lead in both of her nominations. Watching this tired, predictable movie makes me want to hurt someone.

5. Speed II: Cruise Control
A near carbon copy of the original, this movie had all the excitement of watching hot dogs thaw in the sink without the payoff at the end. I don't know about you, but I was praying that Jason Patric's character really would drown underneath the ship. No such luck. Keanu Reeves somehow must have known that this voyage was going to be a Titanic failure at the box office and wisely steered clear.

4. It's Pat: The Movie
Okay, let's be honest here. Other than the first class of Saturday Night Live alums, haven't all the skit-based movies blown chunks since? This movie is particularly painful to sit through. Has anyone noticed that comedies seem to have gotten shorter and dramas longer in running time. Perhaps the g-ds are smiling on us a little bit in that this train-wreck of a film only drains 77 minutes of your time, which could be better spent cleaning your navel.

3. Showgirls
How can something with so much nudity be so awful? I'm quite confident that you can find porno movies with better plots and acting. Even when she's prancing around naked, Elizabeth Berkley's character  just wouldn't shut up. You probably have never met a man that has turned off a movie when there is a naked woman on screen. Hello... I'm Louis Stone and it's nice to meet you. That was precisely the point when the movie hit the pinnacle of stupidity and I could take no more. Lightning may strike twice for Berkley and I can only hope that next time, Joe Eszterhas (the writer), is standing next to her when it happens.

2. Cookie's Fortune
It can be argued that this film is a mood movie. Meaning, if you aren't in the mood for this type of film, then you aren't going to like it. I tend to enjoy quirky movies, but the only redeeming feature in this film was the ending credits. This movie was trying from the outset to be a film for intellectual appreciation. The problem is that it could only be interesting to people who think they're intellectual. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together would dismiss this film as rubbish in the first 20 minutes. 1999 was a bad year for Charles S. Dutton. Aside from this unfortunate pile of manure, he also had a role in the Harrison Ford career killer, Random Hearts.

1. Sweet November
How is it that Keanu Reeves was smart enough to pass on the Speed sequel, but didn't know to steer clear from this complete and total waste of celluloid? His acting was the best part of the movie and that's like saying that you kinda enjoy the endorphin rush after getting hit on the head by a hammer. This movie certifies that Charlize Theron has absolutely no business doing anything that involves a speaking part. She would be fine as Lady on Street #2, but to reward her by giving her a leading role in another film would be a travesty of justice. I had to do this movie in two sittings. The first hour was so horrible that I had to get up and do something else. I only watched the second half out of morbid curiosity. As expected, it went from bad to worse. The plot, the writing, and the alleged acting all add up to make the worst film ever created. I lost two hours of my life watching this cr*pfest and I want them back!